Why do I feel so stressed or anxious
Feeling stressed or anxious? Here’s what’s really going on and how to calm your mind ✨
Let’s be real—we all get stressed. Sometimes it’s the endless to-do list, sometimes it’s our own thoughts keeping us up at night. And if you’ve ever caught yourself googling “How do I deal with my anxiety?” or “Why am I so stressed all the time?” … you’re definitely not alone.
The good news? Anxiety and stress don’t have to run the show. With a few simple shifts, you can create more calm in your day and start feeling like yourself again. 💛
So… Why am I so stressed?
Stress usually sneaks in from a mix of things:
Life pressures (work, money, family—you name it).
Our own high standards (hello perfectionists 👋).
Lifestyle habits (too much caffeine, not enough sleep, poor diet, lack of exercise).
Sometimes we’re stressed because of one big thing, but often it’s a pile-up of little things that finally tip us over.
✨We store all our stress and negative thoughts each day in what we call the ‘stress bucket’.
✨Each night when we sleep, our brain clears out all the negative thoughts with intention to leave us with an empty bucket when we awake the next morning.
✨However, if the stress bucket is too full, the brain will run out of steam part way through the night and you will wake up, sometimes too early, sometimes too late, feeling sluggish, with half a bucket of stress still, and in a foul mood because you are so exhausted and/or low.
✨This of course means you will start the day on a negative note before you have even poured your cup of tea or coffee. I could go on for hours but, I have discussed this in my other blog managing stress please take a look.
The first step? pause and ask yourself: “What’s been good in my life?” do not think of what’s bad. “What’s been good recently?”, anything small matters. Awareness is powerful. Write it down if you have to. What are you grateful for? write it down.
Anxiety is stress. Stress is what you allow to control you so, take back the power, keep your stress bucket empty or at least, low enough to be cleared out during sleep. More about stress bucket and sleep click here
In my sessions I educate you about the brain, how we adapt poor habits and behaviours, how it controls how we think and how we can re-train our brain to think differently. Its totally within our control. Its just finding it.
Okay, but how do I deal with anxiety when it hits?
“Anxiety is like your mind hitting the panic button when there’s no real emergency”
Here are a few quick tools that can help calm that inner storm:
✨ Breathe differently. Try the 4-7-8 breath: inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8. It’s like pressing “reset” for your nervous system.
I say to my clients to think of a happy place that they feel safe in and, makes them feel good. When anxiety does hit, breathe in slowly, sit somewhere quiet and just visualise the safe and happy place and just stay there until the anxiety level has dropped. Let your imagination take over and continue to visualise being in the happy place.
✨ Move your body. Go for a walk, dance around your room, stretch—it helps release the built-up tension. Get some fresh air. Walk in nature
✨ Write it out. When your brain is spiraling, grab a notebook. Getting worries on paper makes them feel way less overwhelming. Journaling is a great form of release. Write down what’s been good.
✨ Check your daily habits. Too much coffee? Scrolling late at night? Over indulging?. Little lifestyle tweaks (like setting a bedtime routine or cutting down caffeine) can make a big difference. Avoid technology one hour before bedtime. Avoid TV’s phones etc in the bedroom.
I know a lady who has a ‘phone prison’, yes you read that right. She has a lockable box with a glass window which she locks her phone in at night but can see if its ringing. She will keep it there to allow her to switch off from the day and enjoy the other things she likes doing. She lets it out of prison in the morning when she is ready to start her day.
Can I get rid of anxiety for good?
Here’s the truth: you can’t completely erase anxiety (and honestly, you wouldn’t want to—it’s your brain’s way of keeping you safe). But you can learn to manage it so it doesn’t control your life. Think of it like building a toolkit—you add more calming tools, and over time, you get stronger at handling the stressful moments.
Let me explain a little. If you were to walk outside now and bump into a tiger or a polar bear what would happen? your heart would race, your palms would get sweaty, you would go into fight, flight or freeze mode, your brain would flood your body with cortisol and adrenalin, your anxiety would go up and encourage you to run. That is absolutely normal response in that given situation however if in your daily life, you are getting to that same level of anxiety on a daily basis over smaller things such as an argument with a loved one, friend or colleague or a bank statement arriving causing you to panic, or even getting into the car and driving, then thats where its going wrong.
Each days levels of stress and negative thoughts are piling and piling up and before you realise, you are reacting to situations with “anxiety extreme” “learned behaviour” and not the acceptable amount that the brain and body pump out to protect you in certain situations like bumping into a tiger or polar bear for instance.
If you had seen a polar bear or tiger, you will always be on the look out, checking you are safe right? and that’s how we pick up the habits, slowly over time, we allow it to take control. People who re-check over and over, is a learned response or behaviour that shouldn’t be repeated in normal daily life.
✨So anxiety is always with us, its a emotional response, a coping tool provided by the brain to make us braver and stronger, to protect us but….
✨ It’s not about getting rid of it, its about how you manage it and keep it under control by behaving and thinking positively. Less stress, is empty stress bucket which is less anxiety.
How to manage anxiety - keep the stress bucket empty
Solution Focused Hypnotherapy uses calming techniques mixed with ‘Goal driven’ questions and plans to get you where you want to be. Remember above I said “ whats been good?” well thats what we do in SFH. We look at whats good in your life, how you feel right now and how you can feel better. When I say we, I mean you and me.
If your anxiety feels constant, really heavy, or starts impacting your daily life, reaching out to a therapist such as me can be a game-changer. Sometimes its just a gentle nudge is required to get someone back on track. Sometimes we forget how to love ourselves. Asking for support is not weakness—it’s wisdom. 💪
Gentle Reminder 💌
You are not your anxiety. You’re a whole, incredible human who happens to feel anxious sometimes—and that’s okay. Learn to know the difference between the bank balance and the Polar bear.
Contact me for a chat and book your FREE* initial consultation where I will give you more insight into changing the way you think .
Take it one breath, one choice, one day at a time.
✨Little changes add up to big shifts.
And remember: you’re not in this alone. 💛
Initial Consultation is FREE but is subject to a £20 deposit . Refunded back to you after the session.
